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’When I’m Gone’: This Man Gave Advice to His Son Which Lasted a Lifetime

/ 11:45 PM
We found a truly touching story written by Rafael Zoehler and thought we’d share it with you:

’Death is always a surprise. No one expects it. Not even terminal patients think they are going to die in a day or two. In a week, maybe. But only when this particular week is the next week.

We are never ready. It is never the right time. By the time it comes, you will not have done all the things that we wanted to. The end always comes as a surprise, and it’s a tearful moment for widows and a bore for the children who don’t really understand what a funeral is (thank God).
It was no different with my father. In fact, his death was even more unexpected. He was gone at age 27. The same age that claimed the lives of several famous musicians. He was young. Way too young. My father was not a musician and neither a famous person. Cancer doesn’t pick its victims. He was gone when I was young, and I learned what a funeral was because of him. I was 8 and half, old enough to miss him for a lifetime. Had he died before, I wouldn’t have memories. I would feel no pain. But I wouldn’t have a father in my life. And I had a father.
I had a father who was both firm and fun. Someone who would tell a joke before grounding me. That way, I wouldn’t feel so bad. Someone who kissed me on the forehead before I went to sleep. A habit which I passed on to my children. Someone who forced me to support the same football team he supported, and who explained things better than my mother. A father like that is someone to be missed.
He never told me he was going to die. Even when he was lying on a hospital bed with tubes all over him, he didn’t say a word. My father made plans for the next year even though he knew he wouldn’t be around in the next month. Next year, we would go fishing, we would travel, we would visit places we’ve never been. Next year would be an amazing year. We lived the same dream.
I believe — actually I’m sure — he thought this should bring luck. He was a superstitious man. Thinking about the future was the way he found to keep hope alive. The bastard made me laugh until the very end. He knew about it. He didn’t tell me. He didn’t see me crying.
And suddenly, the next year was over before it even started.
My mother picked me up at school and we went to the hospital. The doctor told the news with all the sensitivity that doctors lose over the years. My mother cried. She did have a tiny bit of hope. As I said before, everyone does. I felt the blow. What does it mean? Wasn’t it just a regular disease, the kind of disease doctors heal with a shot? I hated you, dad. I felt betrayed. I screamed with anger in the hospital, until I realized my father was not around to ground me. I cried.
Then, my father was once again a father to me. With a shoebox under her arm, a nurse came by to comfort me. The box was full of sealed envelopes, with sentences where the address should be. I couldn’t understand exactly what was going on. The nurse then handed me a letter. The only letter that was out of the box.
"Your dad asked me to give you this letter. He spent the whole week writing these, and he wants you read it. Be strong." the nurse said, holding me.
The envelope read ’When I’m gone’. I opened it.
Son,
If you’re reading this, I’m dead. I’m sorry. I knew I was going to die.
I didn’t want to tell you what was going to happen, I didn’t want to see you crying. Well, it looks like I’ve made it. I think that a man who’s about to die has the right to act a little bit selfish.
Well, as you can see, I still have a lot to teach you. After all, you don’t know crap about anything. So I wrote these letters for you. You must not open them before the right moment, OK? This is our deal.
I love you. Take care of your mom. You’re the man of the house now.
Love, dad.























He made me stop crying with his bad handwriting. Printing was not easy back then. His ugly writing, which I barely understood, made me feel calm. It made me smile. That’s how my father did things. Like the joke before the grounding.
That box became the most important thing in the world for me. I told my mother not to open it. Those letters were mine and no one else could read them. I knew all the life moments written on the envelopes by heart. But it took a while for these moments to happen. And I forgot about it.
Seven years later, after we moved to a new place, I had no idea where I put the box. I couldn’t remember it. And when we don’t remember something, we usually don’t care about it. If something goes lost in your memory, It doesn’t mean you lost it. It simply doesn’t exist anymore. It’s like change in the pockets of your trousers.
And so it happened. My teenage years and my mother’s new boyfriend triggered what my father had anticipated a long time before. My mother had several boyfriends, and I always understood it. She never married again. I don’t know why, but I like to believe that my father had been the love of her life. This boyfriend, however, was worthless. I thought she was humiliating herself by dating him. He had no respect for her. She deserved something a lot better than a guy she met at a bar.
I still remember the slap she gave me after I pronounced the word "bar". I’ll admit that I deserved it. I learned that over the years. At the time, when my skin was still burning from the slap, I remembered the box and the letters. I remembered a specific letter, which read ’When you have the worst fight ever with your mom.’
I ransacked my bedroom looking for it, which earned me another slap in the face. I found the box inside a suitcase lying on top of the wardrobe. The limbo. I looked through the letters, and realized that I had forgotten to open ’When you have your first kiss’. I hated myself for doing that, and I decided that would be the next letter I’d open. ’When you lose your virginty’ came right next in the pack, a letter I was hoping to open really soon. Eventually I found what I was looking for.
Now apologize to her.
I don’t know why you’re fighting and I don’t know who’s right. But I know your mother. So a humble apology is the best way to get over this. I’m talking about a down-on-your-knees apology.
She’s your mother, kid. She loves you more than anything in this world. Do you know that she went through natural birth because someone told her that it would be the best for you? Have you ever seen a woman giving birth? Do you need a bigger proof of love than that?
Apologize. She’ll forgive you.



















My father was not a great writer, he was just a bank clerk. But his words had a great impact on me. They were words that carried more wisdom than all of my 15 years of age at the time. (That wasn’t very hard to achieve, though).
I rushed to my mother’s room and opened the door. I was crying when she turned her head to look me in the eyes. She was also crying. I don’t remember what she yelled at me. Probably something like "What do you want?" What I do remember is that I walked towards her holding the letter my father wrote. I held her in my arms, while my hands crumpled the old paper. She hugged me, and we both stood in silence.
My father’s letter made her laugh a few minutes later. We made peace and talked a little about him. She told me about some of his most eccentric habits, such as eating salami with strawberries. Somehow, I felt he was sitting right next to us. Me, my mother and a piece of my father, a piece he left for us, on a piece of paper. It felt good.
It didn’t take long before I read ’When you lose your virginty’:
Congratulations, son.
Don’t worry, it gets better with time. It always sucks the first time. Mine happened with an ugly woman...who was also a prostitute.
My biggest fear is that you’d ask your mother what virginity is after reading what’s on the letter.













My father followed me through my entire life. He was with me, even though he was not near me. His words did what no one else could: they gave me strength to overcome countless challenging moments in my life. He would always find a way to put a smile on my face when things looked grim, or clear my mind during those angry moments.
’When you get married’ made me feel very emotional. But not so much as ’When you become a father’.
Now you’ll understand what real love is, son. You’ll realize how much you love her, but real love is something you’ll feel for this little thing over there. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. I’m just a corpse, I’m not a fortune teller.








The most painful letter I read in my entire life was also the shortest letter my father wrote. While he wrote those four words, I believe he suffered just as much as I did living through that moment. It took a while, but eventually I had to open ’When your mother is gone’:
She is mine now.






A joke. A sad clown hiding his sadness with a smile on his makeup. It was the only letter that didn’t make me smile, but I could see the reason.
I always kept the deal I had made with my father. I never read letters before their time.
I would always wait for the next moment, the next letter. The next lesson my father would teach me. It’s amazing what a 27-year-old man can teach to an 85-year-old senior like me.
Now that I am lying on a hospital bed, with tubes in my nose and my throat thanks to this damn cancer, I run my fingers on the faded paper of the only letter I didn’t open. The sentence ’When your time comes’ is barely visible on the envelope.
I don’t want to open it. I’m scared. I don’t want to believe that my time is near. It’s a matter of hope, you know? No one believes they’re gonna die.
I take a deep breath, opening the envelope.
Hello, son. I hope you’re an old man now.
You know, this letter was the easiest to write, and the first I wrote. It was the letter that set me free from the pain of losing you. I think your mind becomes clearer when you’re this close to the end. It’s easier to talk about it.
In my last days here I thought about the life I had. I had a brief life, but a very happy one. I was your father and the husband of your mother. What else could I ask for? It gave me peace of mind. Now you do the same.
My advice for you: you don’t have to be afraid.


























Source: medium
We found a truly touching story written by Rafael Zoehler and thought we’d share it with you:

’Death is always a surprise. No one expects it. Not even terminal patients think they are going to die in a day or two. In a week, maybe. But only when this particular week is the next week.

We are never ready. It is never the right time. By the time it comes, you will not have done all the things that we wanted to. The end always comes as a surprise, and it’s a tearful moment for widows and a bore for the children who don’t really understand what a funeral is (thank God).
It was no different with my father. In fact, his death was even more unexpected. He was gone at age 27. The same age that claimed the lives of several famous musicians. He was young. Way too young. My father was not a musician and neither a famous person. Cancer doesn’t pick its victims. He was gone when I was young, and I learned what a funeral was because of him. I was 8 and half, old enough to miss him for a lifetime. Had he died before, I wouldn’t have memories. I would feel no pain. But I wouldn’t have a father in my life. And I had a father.
I had a father who was both firm and fun. Someone who would tell a joke before grounding me. That way, I wouldn’t feel so bad. Someone who kissed me on the forehead before I went to sleep. A habit which I passed on to my children. Someone who forced me to support the same football team he supported, and who explained things better than my mother. A father like that is someone to be missed.
He never told me he was going to die. Even when he was lying on a hospital bed with tubes all over him, he didn’t say a word. My father made plans for the next year even though he knew he wouldn’t be around in the next month. Next year, we would go fishing, we would travel, we would visit places we’ve never been. Next year would be an amazing year. We lived the same dream.
I believe — actually I’m sure — he thought this should bring luck. He was a superstitious man. Thinking about the future was the way he found to keep hope alive. The bastard made me laugh until the very end. He knew about it. He didn’t tell me. He didn’t see me crying.
And suddenly, the next year was over before it even started.
My mother picked me up at school and we went to the hospital. The doctor told the news with all the sensitivity that doctors lose over the years. My mother cried. She did have a tiny bit of hope. As I said before, everyone does. I felt the blow. What does it mean? Wasn’t it just a regular disease, the kind of disease doctors heal with a shot? I hated you, dad. I felt betrayed. I screamed with anger in the hospital, until I realized my father was not around to ground me. I cried.
Then, my father was once again a father to me. With a shoebox under her arm, a nurse came by to comfort me. The box was full of sealed envelopes, with sentences where the address should be. I couldn’t understand exactly what was going on. The nurse then handed me a letter. The only letter that was out of the box.
"Your dad asked me to give you this letter. He spent the whole week writing these, and he wants you read it. Be strong." the nurse said, holding me.
The envelope read ’When I’m gone’. I opened it.
Son,
If you’re reading this, I’m dead. I’m sorry. I knew I was going to die.
I didn’t want to tell you what was going to happen, I didn’t want to see you crying. Well, it looks like I’ve made it. I think that a man who’s about to die has the right to act a little bit selfish.
Well, as you can see, I still have a lot to teach you. After all, you don’t know crap about anything. So I wrote these letters for you. You must not open them before the right moment, OK? This is our deal.
I love you. Take care of your mom. You’re the man of the house now.
Love, dad.























He made me stop crying with his bad handwriting. Printing was not easy back then. His ugly writing, which I barely understood, made me feel calm. It made me smile. That’s how my father did things. Like the joke before the grounding.
That box became the most important thing in the world for me. I told my mother not to open it. Those letters were mine and no one else could read them. I knew all the life moments written on the envelopes by heart. But it took a while for these moments to happen. And I forgot about it.
Seven years later, after we moved to a new place, I had no idea where I put the box. I couldn’t remember it. And when we don’t remember something, we usually don’t care about it. If something goes lost in your memory, It doesn’t mean you lost it. It simply doesn’t exist anymore. It’s like change in the pockets of your trousers.
And so it happened. My teenage years and my mother’s new boyfriend triggered what my father had anticipated a long time before. My mother had several boyfriends, and I always understood it. She never married again. I don’t know why, but I like to believe that my father had been the love of her life. This boyfriend, however, was worthless. I thought she was humiliating herself by dating him. He had no respect for her. She deserved something a lot better than a guy she met at a bar.
I still remember the slap she gave me after I pronounced the word "bar". I’ll admit that I deserved it. I learned that over the years. At the time, when my skin was still burning from the slap, I remembered the box and the letters. I remembered a specific letter, which read ’When you have the worst fight ever with your mom.’
I ransacked my bedroom looking for it, which earned me another slap in the face. I found the box inside a suitcase lying on top of the wardrobe. The limbo. I looked through the letters, and realized that I had forgotten to open ’When you have your first kiss’. I hated myself for doing that, and I decided that would be the next letter I’d open. ’When you lose your virginty’ came right next in the pack, a letter I was hoping to open really soon. Eventually I found what I was looking for.
Now apologize to her.
I don’t know why you’re fighting and I don’t know who’s right. But I know your mother. So a humble apology is the best way to get over this. I’m talking about a down-on-your-knees apology.
She’s your mother, kid. She loves you more than anything in this world. Do you know that she went through natural birth because someone told her that it would be the best for you? Have you ever seen a woman giving birth? Do you need a bigger proof of love than that?
Apologize. She’ll forgive you.



















My father was not a great writer, he was just a bank clerk. But his words had a great impact on me. They were words that carried more wisdom than all of my 15 years of age at the time. (That wasn’t very hard to achieve, though).
I rushed to my mother’s room and opened the door. I was crying when she turned her head to look me in the eyes. She was also crying. I don’t remember what she yelled at me. Probably something like "What do you want?" What I do remember is that I walked towards her holding the letter my father wrote. I held her in my arms, while my hands crumpled the old paper. She hugged me, and we both stood in silence.
My father’s letter made her laugh a few minutes later. We made peace and talked a little about him. She told me about some of his most eccentric habits, such as eating salami with strawberries. Somehow, I felt he was sitting right next to us. Me, my mother and a piece of my father, a piece he left for us, on a piece of paper. It felt good.
It didn’t take long before I read ’When you lose your virginty’:
Congratulations, son.
Don’t worry, it gets better with time. It always sucks the first time. Mine happened with an ugly woman...who was also a prostitute.
My biggest fear is that you’d ask your mother what virginity is after reading what’s on the letter.













My father followed me through my entire life. He was with me, even though he was not near me. His words did what no one else could: they gave me strength to overcome countless challenging moments in my life. He would always find a way to put a smile on my face when things looked grim, or clear my mind during those angry moments.
’When you get married’ made me feel very emotional. But not so much as ’When you become a father’.
Now you’ll understand what real love is, son. You’ll realize how much you love her, but real love is something you’ll feel for this little thing over there. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. I’m just a corpse, I’m not a fortune teller.








The most painful letter I read in my entire life was also the shortest letter my father wrote. While he wrote those four words, I believe he suffered just as much as I did living through that moment. It took a while, but eventually I had to open ’When your mother is gone’:
She is mine now.






A joke. A sad clown hiding his sadness with a smile on his makeup. It was the only letter that didn’t make me smile, but I could see the reason.
I always kept the deal I had made with my father. I never read letters before their time.
I would always wait for the next moment, the next letter. The next lesson my father would teach me. It’s amazing what a 27-year-old man can teach to an 85-year-old senior like me.
Now that I am lying on a hospital bed, with tubes in my nose and my throat thanks to this damn cancer, I run my fingers on the faded paper of the only letter I didn’t open. The sentence ’When your time comes’ is barely visible on the envelope.
I don’t want to open it. I’m scared. I don’t want to believe that my time is near. It’s a matter of hope, you know? No one believes they’re gonna die.
I take a deep breath, opening the envelope.
Hello, son. I hope you’re an old man now.
You know, this letter was the easiest to write, and the first I wrote. It was the letter that set me free from the pain of losing you. I think your mind becomes clearer when you’re this close to the end. It’s easier to talk about it.
In my last days here I thought about the life I had. I had a brief life, but a very happy one. I was your father and the husband of your mother. What else could I ask for? It gave me peace of mind. Now you do the same.
My advice for you: you don’t have to be afraid.


























Source: medium
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Tension headache

This is the most frequent type of headache in the world: everyone has experienced it at least once in their life.
Symptoms. Usually, this is a mild non-throbbing pain. Tension headaches often cause a pressure sensation that feels like you’re wearing a tight band around your forehead. Most often, the intensity of the pain increases from morning to evening.
Causes. Factors that seem to contribute to tension headaches are severe stress, fatigue, poor posture, and holding the head in an improper position for a long time. Chronic tension headaches are rare and are often associated with head or neck injuries.
Treatment. You can take any appropriate painkiller to get rid of a tension headache. However, this should only be used occasionally. If headaches occur frequently and last for a long time, consult your doctor. Also, try to be physically active, stretch your shoulders and neck regularly, and spend more time outdoors.

Sinus headache

This type of headache is caused by sinusitis. It is often accompanied by fever, facial swelling, and tension in the forehead and cheekbones.
Symptoms. You’ll feel a deep pressure and pain in your forehead in the area of the eyebrows and under the eyes. The pain usually gets stronger when you move your head sharply. You may also have a running or blocked nose and feel tired.
Causes. Sinus headaches are caused by sinusitis. They are also a common complication after having a cold or are the result of a seasonal allergy.
Treatment. Sinus headaches rarely go away on their own. If you have an allergy, antihistamines may help. In other cases it’s best to see a doctor who will most probably prescribe antibiotics.

Migraine

All symptoms of this severe headache occur during a migraine attack that progresses through four main stages.
Causes. A migraine is often associated with a violation of the metabolic processes and dilation of blood vessels in the brain. A person also may inherit a genetic predisposition for developing migraines.
Treatment. There’s currently no cure for migraines, although a number of treatments are available to help ease the symptoms. You need to see your doctor to choose the right medication. Moreover, regular exercise will help you improve your health significantly.

Cluster headache

Cluster headaches are rare, affecting less than 1% of the population. They are five times more common in males than females.

Symptoms. A cluster headache may cause a stabbing pain behind or around your eyes, usually on one side of your head. It frequently develops during sleep. Symptoms may also include redness of the eyes, sensitivity to light, and lacrimation. The pain usually lasts from 15 minutes to 1 hour.
Causes. Scientists don’t know exactly what causes cluster headaches. They are most often linked to disruptions in the body’s biological clock.
Treatment. Treating a cluster headache can be tricky because the pain appears and disappears spontaneously and at a moment’s notice. Only a doctor can help you solve this problem.

Hangover



Causes. We hear many different versions about why people often have a headache after drinking alcohol. One of them suggests that alcohol causes blood vessel dilation and affects serotonin levels in the body. Moreover, alcohol promotes water loss and dehydration — major migraine triggers.
Treatment. The best remedy is to take a painkiller, drink plenty of water, and get some good sleep. You should take a hangover seriously. If you have a headache after consuming even a small amount of alcohol it may indicate that you’re suffering from a mild form of migraine.
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Source: Brightside,Mayo Clinic
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When photographer Thomas Yoxall woke up early one morning, he got in his car to start his five-hour journey to a conference. He imagined he would spend his day photographs, but what he did instead has people hailing him a hero.

While driving to the conference in Anaheim, California, Yoxall noticed a patrol car fly by. “I was thinking, not a good way to start the morning with someone getting pulled over,” Yoxall said. But when he finally caught up and saw the patrol car again, he realized the cop was responding to a call not giving someone a ticket.
When Andersson arrived, he saw two potential victims and he quickly got to work blocking the lane with his car, setting up flares, and calling for a medical helicopter. But when he returned to the victim, the man that had just been beside her was gone. “I scan with my flashlight, and I found him standing in the emergency lane,” Andersson said about the shooter. “I could tell he already had his weapon pointed at me.”
In an instant, the man shot his last bullet and struck Andersson in his shoulder, which left his arm paralyzed, and then lunged at him. “A half inch to my right, it would have missed me,” Andersson said. “A few inches to my left, it would have hit my vest… I would try to get my taser out, but every time I would do that, he would strike me in the head and pound my head on the pavement.”
All Andersson could do was try to endure the beating and roll onto his right side to keep the man from getting his gun.“I knew, if he got my gun, it’d be all over right then,” he said. Yoxall, a former felon, saw the brutal attack and pulled over. “He’s beating him in a savage way, just fist after fist,” Yoxall said. “I yell out to the suspect to stop. I said ‘Get off him!’ His facial expression, the look in his eye was ‘evil’ if I had to put a word on it.”
“I hear a voice… ask me if I needed help,” Andersson recalled. “I said ‘Yes, I do.’ The next thing I hear is two shots… As much as I fought, at one point, I probably couldn’t have gone on anymore. I probably wouldn’t be here if not for him.” Andersson was then rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery, but knows he’s alive today because of Yoxall. “I hope people understand that he had to do what he had to do to save somebody else’s life,” Andersson said. “Getting involved isn’t a bad thing, even if it’s just stopping to call 911.”
“I get to see my grandkids grow up, my daughters get married eventually. He did a fabulous thing,” Andersson said. “God chose to put me in that place at that particular moment,” Yoxall said. “I just can’t see an evil like that perpetuated without intervening.”

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Featured images: CNN
Source: Life daily
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Whatever the weather, you could find him in the same place—whether the sun was scorching or the rain was pouring down.


For three years, a homeless man sat on the same street corner in Webster, Texas.

"Someone needs to do something about that guy," locals used to grumble as they drove past.

But no one ever took the time to find out why the man was sitting in the same spot day after day. Until a woman named Ginger Sprouse stopped and rolled down her window.



She learned that the homeless guy had a name—his name was Victor Hubbard and was 32 years old.

Most people correctly assumed Victor was homeless. But few knew that he also suffered from mental illness.

Ginger asked Victor why he was always at the same corner.

And Victor's answer would change both of their lives forever...

Ginger Sprouse is a wife and mother who lives in Webster, Texas. She and her husband, Dean, run a cooking school called Art of the Meal.

Like most of Webster's residents, Ginger had noticed a homeless man at one of the city's intersections.

Rain or shine, the guy sat in the same spot every day for three years.

"Someone needs to do something about that guy," Ginger heard her friends grumbling.

One day Ginger drove up to the homeless man, rolled down her car window, and started talking to him.

It was then that she learned the heartbreaking reason why Victor was sitting at the same corner for three years.

Victor Hubbard is 32 years old. He struggles with mental illness, is homeless, and has been on his own since his mother abandoned him three years ago.


That street corner was the last place Victor saw his mother, and no one has seen her since.

Victor waited there for three years in the hope that she would return for him.

When she heard his story, Ginger felt an immediate bond with Victor. And as the season changed from autumn to winter, Ginger worried about Victor's health out there in the cold.

She began visiting Victor on her lunch breaks. After a while, Ginger and her husband agreed that Victor could come to their house whenever he wanted to escape the cold and get some food.

But Ginger's kindness didn't stop there.

During the next three months, she helped Victor get psychiatric treatment, she got him off the streets, and she gave him a job at her restaurant.





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Source: Newsner
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It's one of those nights every mum and dad dreads - when their child just WON'T go to sleep.

And with twins you're in for twice the trouble, like when two-year-olds Andrew and Ryan decide it's not quite bedtime just yet.


But what may have been an irritating evening for the parents, turns into a hilarious two-minute clip of the boys' antics.
The footage, recorded on a home monitoring system by two New York parents, shows the boys constantly crawling out of their cribs.
They toddle around their room, pull their pillows and mattresses out of their cribs, and create make-shift mats to somersault on to.
They then take a short break on the sofa, before getting back to business jumping around the room and slowly turning it upside down.
But when parents Jonathan and Susana arrive partway through the video, they put the boys back in their cribs and clean up.
Only as soon as they leave, the boys are back at it, creating another pile of pillows to jump around on and having rests on the couch.
It's not long before mum and dad are back, pleading for the boys to go to sleep and cleaning up after them.

Yet surprise surprise, as soon as they leave the toddlers are back on their feet.
But this time they have had enough partying, and decide to have a chat on the sofa before finally deciding it's getting a bit late.
They climb into their cribs and fall asleep, not knowing their antics would end up being watched by people all over the world.
Jonathan later decided to post the video on Facebook, and has been 'overwhelmed by the outpouring of love' ever since, with it going viral.
Painstakingly for him and Susana, the night was not a one-off, and is something they have had to put up with for about three months.
They have now 'slowly removed everything and bolted the furniture to the walls'.
Recently they switched their kids' cribs to beds for one night as an experiment, only to find them 'nonstop all night'.
Source: Mirror
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“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.” – John Lennon

How many times have we told ourselves in complete earnestness, “I’m going to be more organized and productive from now on.”? Or that the diet starts tomorrow? Or that we’re going to make a real effort to exercise now?


Only to have that enthusiasm fizzle away, and all our best intentions come to nothing?
It’s the most common thing in the world (besides bacteria) — the honest and fervent desire for self-improvement, followed by inaction or giving in to temptations, followed by guilt or giving up. Bridget Jones captured it best, writing her constant resolutions into her diary. “Will definitely go to the gym this afternoon.” Only to be followed by a binge of pastries followed by drinking and smoking.
We’re all Bridget Jones. It happens to the best of us. It’s inertia at work, mixed with a bit of laziness as well as the very human trait of giving in to desires despite all the good intentions in the world.
So how do we beat inertia and temptations? Four basic ways, really:
  1. Get moving, a bit at a time. Inertia is beat only by movement. Once you get going, momentum builds up and inertia is no longer a factor. So the key is to get started, and you do that not by trying to go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds, but by trying to go from 0 to 5mph in a day or two. That’s doable. It’s all about baby steps. Once you get going, you’re golden.
  2. Be accountable. Laziness, the second culprit, is beat by a bit of public pressure. We all get lazy from time to time (or, to be more honest, all the time), and there’s nothing wrong with that. But to beat laziness, we must apply a bit of pressure, in the form of accountability. There’s nothing wrong with a little pressure, as long is it’s not overdone. Pressure is a motivating thing, especially when it’s positive. Positive pressure includes encouragement from family or friends, an online forum, a help group in your neighborhood, or the readers of your blog.
  3. Ignore failures — giving in to temptation is OK. We will always give in to temptation. Plan for it, accept it, move on. There’s no need to beat yourself up.
  4. Motivate yourself. Most importantly, you want to really want it. It’s not enough to feel pressure to do something — you have to really desire it. I mean, really desire it, not just think it’s something you should do, or that you’ll be a better person for doing it. If pressure gives you the push toward your goal, motivation gives you the pull.
Given those strategies for beating the obstacles to making your desires become reality … how do we implement them? How do we go from theory to actual action steps? Easy. Seven simple steps, that you can do today. Really. Do them today.
1. Make a date. Right now. All the good intentions in the history of the universe mean nothing if you don’t actually get started. And the only way to get started is to take action, right now. Not tomorrow, not later today, not in an hour, not when you finish reading this article. Right now! Look at your calendar, and make an appointment to create your action plan, or to take the first action (“Go walking at 5:30 p.m. today in the park,” for example). What’s the first action you can take to make your desires a reality? Create a healthier meal plan for tomorrow? Create a place for everything you use at work, so your organizing system doesn’t fall apart in two day? Decide what that is and make an appointment for it, right now. Second part of this step: make that appointment the most important appointment on your schedule, more important than a doctor’s appointment or a meeting with your boss.
2. Set a small, achievable goal. Remember, inertia is a powerful force. If you haven’t been exercising for a couple years, it’s hard to get started. You’re used to the way things are, and even if you want to change, it’s difficult. So don’t start out trying to conquer the world. Just conquer something exceedingly small. It might sound wimpy to say, “I’m going to walk for 10 minutes” or “I’m going to do 10 pushups and 1 chinup”, but those are much more likely to beat inertia than, “I’m going to exercise for 45 minutes today.” Be realistic, and make it very very achievable. It’s the only way to beat inertia.
“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back
3. Commit thyself, big time. It’s this commitment that will keep you going after you overcome inertia. Sometimes we get filled up with enthusiasm, but then a few days later, that enthusiasm wanes and we submit to our old buddy laziness. Now, I’m not anti-laziness — just the opposite, I assure you — but we can’t let it stop us from making our dreams come true. So instead, make a commitment, publicly. State your small, achievable goal, and tell it to as many people as you can. Call or email friends and family, tell all your coworkers, join an online forum related to your goal and tell all of them. Put it on your blog. However you do it, make sure people are aware of your goal, and that there’s sufficient pressure to overcome laziness.
4. Baby steps, baby. Again, inertia is a very strong force. I’ve said it before, but this is a very important step here: the best way to change is through baby steps. One small step at a time. Don’t try to bite off too much. How is this different from the above step, setting a small and achievable goal? It’s the same concept, but extended beyond the initial goal. It’s taking things one little goal at a time, a bit at a time. For example, let’s say you want to run a marathon, but currently your running regimen consists of running to the bathroom during commercial breaks while you’re watching Lost. So do you go out and start a marathon training plan? Nope. You start by walking 10 minutes a day. Then, when that becomes a habit and too easy, walk 15 minutes. Then 20, then 30. Then jog a minute, walk a couple minutes, jog a minute, and so on, for those 30 minutes. Then jog 90 seconds, and so on, until you’re running for 30 minutes. Do these steps a week or two at a time, so that all of a sudden, you’re running for 45 minutes every other day … and you barely noticed the progression. That’s the way you get to a goal … small progressions that are barely noticeable. Not by killing yourself the first day out.
“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” – Woody Allen
5. Hold thyself accountable. You’ve committed yourself publicly … but it’s not enough to tell people your goal. You have to make it clear that they must hold you accountable to reporting to them your progress. Then report your progress to them regularly. Daily is better than weekly. Reporting to them makes sure that you will think twice about being lazy and forgoing your action plan.
6. Motivate yourself. We’ve already discussed accountability and commitment, which are ways to put positive pressure on yourself — a form of motivation. Those are great, but you also want other types of motivation. You want to find ways to make your progress feel great … either through rewards, or the positive way you feel about your progress, or the positive way you feel when others see how well you’re doing. Find a few different ways to motivate yourself — the more the better. Incorporate these into your plan. Tell people about them. Let them help push you along.
7. Just keep doing it, no matter what. You’ll encounter obstacles, and falter and fall. Just get up and keep going. You’ll face temptations and give in. That’s OK. Just keep going. You’ll make mistakes and get discouraged. No matter … just keep going. Learn from your mistakes, and … keep going. No matter what happens, keep going. If you’re taking baby steps, you’re holding yourself accountable, and you’re actually doing something, you’ll get there.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one” – Albert Einstein
 Source: Zen Habits
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Sympathetic articles, books and lectures aside, introverts — or those with the so-called “quiet” personality type — may still feel misunderstood in a society that champions extrovert traits like non-stop connectedness.

Below are just a few things they wished everyone grasped about the personality type.

 1. They don’t hate a good party.
Introverts aren’t a bunch of awkward killjoys who don’t like to have a good time. In fact, many introverts enjoy going to parties if it means interacting with people who make them comfortable.
What can be so grating about large gatherings is the over stimulation and unsatisfying conversations. As Laurie Helgoe explained in her book, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, introverts feel exhausted by small talk and prefer more intimate conversations.
“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people,” she wrote. “We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
2. Craving downtime doesn’t mean they’re anti-social.
Introverts need time to recharge, but they still want to be with their friends after they’ve snagged that alone time. They’re not anti-social; they’re selectively social.
“Just because nine times out of 10, I decline your invitation, does not mean I want you to stop inviting me,” said reader Carolyn Mae Ladas on Facebook.
3. They’re not open books (and that’s perfectly okay).
Introverts rarely spout off the first thing that comes to their minds. This quiet reflection is a hallmark characteristic of the personality type and is quite the opposite of their extroverted counterparts, who speak their thoughts affirmatively and quickly.
“I wish people could understand that I don’t feel their need to over share every little detail of my life,” said reader Claire May Sarlandie-Partiot on Facebook. “If I want to talk about it, I will. If I don’t, don’t push me. It will only make me close like an oyster.”
4. Personal space is highly valuable to them...
Introverts are more likely to opt for the aisle seat rather than the middle to avoid being surrounded on all sides, HuffPost’s Carolyn Gregoire previously reported. This allows them an opportunity to remove themselves from a situation in order to recharge if they need to.
5. ...But yes, they’ll give you a hug.
You just have to ask them first. A comic designed by artist Roman Jones sums up an interaction with an introvert perfectly: Let them invite you into their “bubble.”
6. Just because they’re introverts doesn’t meant they’re shy...
Shyness and introversion are often used synonymously, but as introverts are quick to point out, they’re not the same thing. Introverts don’t always fear social settings, they just place value in more meaningful, smaller interactions — and they’re perfectly fine with remaining in that comfort zone.
“My shell is comfortable, and because I like staying there doesn’t mean I’m shy,” explained reader Jeremy Flowers on Facebook.
7. ...Or stuck up, for that matter.
A quiet demeanor does not equate to a haughty attitude. When introverts don’t overly contribute to a conversation, it’s usually because they’re being more observant than participatory.
“Me being quiet has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t mean I am being rude, it doesn’t mean I am snobby... It’s nothing I can control and though I am very aware of it, I can only push myself so far until I’m past uncomfortable [and] tolerable,” said reader Brittany Pettus on Facebook, adding that she’s even been called names for being quiet.
8. They don’t want to be more outgoing.
Many people look at introversion as a character flaw, when in reality, introverts like their quieter demeanor — and have no interest in changing.
“The cure for being an introvert is not to become an extrovert. Some of us would never want to be extroverts,” said reader Lori Armstrong on Facebook.
9. They approach the workplace differently.
Introverts are typically averse to open office plans and sometimes can experience challenges navigating an ideal working environment. Finding quiet spaces, only attending crucial meetings and having routine check-ins with co-workers can help ease those office roadblocks, according to Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking.
“I tend to shrink back in work meetings where multiple people are brainstorming out loud, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the topic being discussed or that I’m not paying attention,” explained reader Marisa Hoheb Fedele on Facebook. “I just need some quiet alone time to mull over my thoughts before I present them to a crowd.”
10. They’re not the biggest fans of phone calls.
When looking for a technology-driven conversation, opt for a typed message (bonus: there’s even a set of texting emoji on the horizon made specifically for the personality type). Out-of-the-blue phone conversations tend to feel intrusive to introverts, which may result in them screening your call.
“Talking on the phone can be a form of torture. I choose to engage via text or chat for a reason,” said reader Cindy Spreg on Facebook. “Please don’t take offense that I’ll text you back rather than call you. It’s not you, it’s me!”
11. Surprise birthday gatherings are the worst.
Big parties where introverts are the center of attention = A big no-no.
“I do NOT want a large birthday party!“ reader Jackie George explained on Facebook. “I’d much rather have my few close friends for a quiet evening of games, wine and conversation than have a room full of people I barely know centered around me. Ack!”
12. They have an intuitive nature.
Introverts tend to be in tune with their surroundings, and as a result they may pick up on subtleties of conversations and moods that their louder counterparts may not notice.
“Introverts are very observant,” explained reader Cora Donnell on Facebook. “If we don’t like your friends it’s because we can see through their act.”

Source: Huffington Post
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